it hurts to letting go someone in your heart, but sometimes it hurts more to hold on :') i try my best to keep this relationship. but everything seems broke me in many ways. i try my best to keep patience. i try my best to understood why Allah put me in this hard way. i try my best not to argue why it is me? why not someone else? i try. i try and i try. but everything going wrong. i am almost fall. but i try to stay still like nothing crossing in my way. there's something blocking my way now. i dont know how to handle this fucking thing. i am lost in my battlefield. i am lost in my happines way. i am lost to pretend that everything gonna be okay. soon, everything gonna be right. soon, everything going back to the right place. but how ? Allah, i know you there, i know you know every single thing in my mind, in my heart, in my dua. Can you fix this soon? im promise i will be a good muslimah. fix this for me. i just cnt breathe now. everything turn dark. i cant see anything.
why someone know islam well cannot accept something that written for them? why someone islam enough is so hard to understand. a little thing called faith. why some of people cant understand that thing. why some of people rather to judging others than accept? why they cant redha as i am? i know. they are human also. me? i am human too.
this thing was so hard for me to facing alone. i believe thing will get better soon. just appreciate. appreciate me. appreciate us. appreciate everything before its turn to nothing. i just need support, motivation, advice machine to make me feel better. i hope there's silver lining in every cloud. i pray for a better.
me. the hurt me.
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